My 30 days + 10 days confinement is finally over!
My first 30 days confinement with confinement lady was remarkable to me. I don’t know how I went through it. I was quite emotional and cried often for very little things. I could not manage my mental as well as before. I was very frustrated and upset for myself. And that again made me more emotionally unstable. It was a cycle and it went on and on and on… I have never thought that I would experience post natal depression when I was pregnant.
I have been staying upstairs for the first 15 days and almost lost touch with outside world. I didn't watch TV, having little human interactions during day time, eating alone, worried for every little thing... I was continuously longing for weekdays’ 7pm and weekends because those were the time Jo would be at home with me. I could only cheer up a bit when Jo was around and would wake up crying when he went to work. At the same time, I had to act like normal in front of my family so not to make them worried.
Luckily I am an optimistic person and I knew exactly what was happening to me. There were two Fion during that time, one was the optimistic Fion and another was the pessimistic first time mother. I was struggling hard that time to avoid myself from being more depressed. Things became better later. My emotion was still unstable but better than before.
My last 10 days confinement was tiring but enjoyable. Without confinement lady, I have to take care of Jayden during day time. At night, Jo and I will have a family time with the little one. I have full 24 hours everyday to learn and know about his every little thing. Jayden can be very naughty and grumpy sometimes. He cries for things that I can’t understand and brings me sleepless nights. Yet, I still enjoy being a mother.
I would say I am lucky because I am aware of my problem so I can help myself before things become worst. I am thankful that I have a supportive and understanding husband, a lovely son, a caring mother and sister.
