We knew each other from Uni. Both of us were freshies and met each other in the computer lab. She was sitting one row in front of me. I couldn't remember how we started the first conversation, but I think I made her remembers me by hitting her head lightly, and said "Hi". I was thinking "I want to make this friend".
We started to have some conversations thereafter. And since there was an empty place in my hostel, I invited her to come over and stay with me. We came out with some lies that we are both cousin sisters and would like to stay together. Who knows the management believed it and she moved into my hostel. I was thinking "I got a new friend".
We were getting closer and closer days after days. We walked to classes together, went to library together, had meals together, joined the same club, share our feelings...... I was thinking "I like this friend"
She always has a lot of ideas and dreams. She is sometimes a bit aggressive in things, but definitely a friendly opponent. She is passionate in her ambition and things she trusts. She is blur and clumsy, yet looks smart and steady. She is a mix of both... and definitely she is a nice girl. I was thinking "she is my best friend".
She has to study with the radio on... I was puzzled about this habit. She likes to listen to "California Dream" when she is doing things as that makes her feels herself elegant... I liked the idea. She listens to 黄品源 - 你怎么舍得我难过... there are pictures, feelings and stories in her memories. I was thinking "I want to keep this friend forever".
I moved out one year later and stayed at home. We were still actively involved in club activities, and the best memories ever for my Uni life would be the time we participating the National Debate Competition 全国大专辩论. The training took weeks and months... the whole team were so connected... basically we "eat, shit and sleep together". I was thinking "I like the feeling being part of the team, which everyone is working towards the same goal". And I was thinking "we both share this great moment".
After the National Debate Competition, I involved less in club activities but more in study and personal relationship. She was still actively involved and closely connected to the debate team, still doing what she was intended to. We gathered once in a while, the feeling was still nice... but lack of something. And, I didn't bother...
My sister told me that everything we get in life needs investment, like family, friendship, love, studies and career... I invested less in our friendship and this is why the friendship seems getting more and more shallow.
I missed to share her joy when she fall in love as I didn't ask when I saw a boutique of flower in her room. I missed to share her happiness she had as I didn't contact her much. I shared her pain when she broke up with her bf, but knew it from another friend of ours. I was thinking "I'm lucky to know it on time so I can be with her". But other than that, what did I do? Deeply in my heart, I really care about this friend but my action shows my negligence.
Today I knew that she has admitted to hospital 5 times within a year. Everytime was admitted for different reasons, for different parts of the body...... But I don't have the courage to call and show my care.
I know she'll be fine for she is a tough girl. She'll feel down, lost and ask the God why... But she has her very own way to stand up and face her life. I know she will be a better person... And she is leaving to pursue her new life in UK next month.
For I only have the courage to write than talk... I write this blog, dedicated to her, and friends that I have carelessly neglected.
"My friend, I wish you all the best! Do take care of yourself, especially your health. Be brave and confident! You are elegant even without the song. Can be blur still as this is the cutest part of you. I don't think I have the courage to call, but I promise I'll write you email."
We started to have some conversations thereafter. And since there was an empty place in my hostel, I invited her to come over and stay with me. We came out with some lies that we are both cousin sisters and would like to stay together. Who knows the management believed it and she moved into my hostel. I was thinking "I got a new friend".
We were getting closer and closer days after days. We walked to classes together, went to library together, had meals together, joined the same club, share our feelings...... I was thinking "I like this friend"
She always has a lot of ideas and dreams. She is sometimes a bit aggressive in things, but definitely a friendly opponent. She is passionate in her ambition and things she trusts. She is blur and clumsy, yet looks smart and steady. She is a mix of both... and definitely she is a nice girl. I was thinking "she is my best friend".
She has to study with the radio on... I was puzzled about this habit. She likes to listen to "California Dream" when she is doing things as that makes her feels herself elegant... I liked the idea. She listens to 黄品源 - 你怎么舍得我难过... there are pictures, feelings and stories in her memories. I was thinking "I want to keep this friend forever".
I moved out one year later and stayed at home. We were still actively involved in club activities, and the best memories ever for my Uni life would be the time we participating the National Debate Competition 全国大专辩论. The training took weeks and months... the whole team were so connected... basically we "eat, shit and sleep together". I was thinking "I like the feeling being part of the team, which everyone is working towards the same goal". And I was thinking "we both share this great moment".
After the National Debate Competition, I involved less in club activities but more in study and personal relationship. She was still actively involved and closely connected to the debate team, still doing what she was intended to. We gathered once in a while, the feeling was still nice... but lack of something. And, I didn't bother...
My sister told me that everything we get in life needs investment, like family, friendship, love, studies and career... I invested less in our friendship and this is why the friendship seems getting more and more shallow.
I missed to share her joy when she fall in love as I didn't ask when I saw a boutique of flower in her room. I missed to share her happiness she had as I didn't contact her much. I shared her pain when she broke up with her bf, but knew it from another friend of ours. I was thinking "I'm lucky to know it on time so I can be with her". But other than that, what did I do? Deeply in my heart, I really care about this friend but my action shows my negligence.
Today I knew that she has admitted to hospital 5 times within a year. Everytime was admitted for different reasons, for different parts of the body...... But I don't have the courage to call and show my care.
I know she'll be fine for she is a tough girl. She'll feel down, lost and ask the God why... But she has her very own way to stand up and face her life. I know she will be a better person... And she is leaving to pursue her new life in UK next month.
For I only have the courage to write than talk... I write this blog, dedicated to her, and friends that I have carelessly neglected.
"My friend, I wish you all the best! Do take care of yourself, especially your health. Be brave and confident! You are elegant even without the song. Can be blur still as this is the cutest part of you. I don't think I have the courage to call, but I promise I'll write you email."
